The Silent Sounds.

The window overlooked the blue ocean that existed beside the small cottage and by the window sat Saya. She was playing the piano yet, she could hear the sounds of the sea and the wind attuning together, it was an enthralling, yet a formidable duet to her, the loud bass music seeped in her eardrums and she tried to read the message it tried to convey. But now it was obvious...a storm was in the offing to endow with further rhythm to the sea and the wind.

Sounds always fascinated her, to her everything has a unique sound and it was her way of being responsive to things, a way to balance the inability in her, the imbalance of co-ordination of speech and sound in her body. While her sense of perceiving sound was extraordinarily developed, her vocal chords were unproductive which made her unable to articulate any sounds. A severe throat infection in her childhood had left her speech system barren and silent. But she seldom grieve for her voice, her voice was now just an unfamiliar tone which she was ready to forego, because devoid of 'her' sound she learned to accumulate many new sounds.

She could hear her mother humming a tune, she smiled to herself, her mother once wanted to be a singer, but due to heavy responsibility of surviving in the hard world alone filched the dream out of her, so that it was now just a shadow of the dream she used to nurture. The grand antique piano stood like an evidence of her wish, it was the only precious thing left in their ominous life. A gift from her husband when things were good in their life, when Saya still had her father, until the fated day when the ship on which he was working, got lost in the ferocity of the ocean currents. They had a hard time overcoming the loss and she faced a tough time handling the situation, it was that time when the infection ruined Saya's throat.

Her mother was moodily watching Saya play the piano, the piano which once held so many prospects to her life is now just expensive thing which she had not yet sold because it gave her daughter a voice. It greatly pained her when Saya lost her voice and she could not provide any treatment to her. Saya did not want her mother to work extra hard to cure her, but it always troubled her mother, but now after finishing school her mother had become obsessive to treat her and every little extra amount she gets , she saves it for her treatment. The silent throat never bothered her, her ears accumulated enough sounds to make her feel the want of any other sound. It puzzled her mother, because her sense of rhythm, notes were perfect and she could play the piano perfectly without any training. She was sure that with the aid of her voice she could completely master the art of music.

But to Saya her sounds were her music, her reverence. This uncanny ability to perceive sounds, the echoes in everything, in every object was her identity...a self she mysteriously developed.

She was very fond of the piano, it was her means of creating endless new sounds, with each new note she created and played, a sense of optimism filled her heart. All her emotions flowed through the sounds of the piano, it gave her a voice, an eternal voice, a voice which can reach across the sea and the land. She could relate her murky life to the piano, its music; its sounds are part of its innards, just as her sounds were intrinsic. She could channel her music through the piano, it was like her voice, her inner voice surfacing on the sound of music.

The ringing of the phone jarred her tune, it was a sound she was not fond of, it disturbed her senses. Her mother answered it. She could hear her mother listening intently to it and a glad smile appearing on her face. She excitedly came over to her and said, "Saya , I have some good news for you. The doctor that I talked to for your treatment is here in our town. And with luck we can get you checked tomorrow."
Saya did not want to dampen her mother's eagerness, perhaps having a voice would be so unrewarding , she could produce more sounds, but still she preferred her extraordinary sense of hearing to her 'unfound voice'.

Her treatment began, the doctor examined and observed her for few days. On the third day, the doctor informed, "The medication is working fine, we just need to do an operation and within a few weeks she would be able to speak again." Her mother was thrilled, she was willing to take up any expense to cure her daughter. But Saya was not happy, she could not define her uneasiness, she felt she would gain something at the cost of another. But she had to give in to her mother's wish, but first confirming they could afford the treatment, her mother assured her she could.

She closed her eyes and listened to the sea outside calling her to join in, she felt better. After today, she would also be able to cry out like the sea, could use her voice to sing along without the piano....but no! Her piano was her real voice, a voice that assisted her all through her life and no voice could ever replace it. She felt incomplete without her piano, she lovingly touched its keys and struck up a note and played as if was her last day at the keys.

She was changed into a neat hospital gown, the doctor had assured her, the operation would be fine, she looked at her mother and she gave her an assuring nod.

She felt delirious, perhaps the drug she was given was taking effect. The OT looked a bit scary to her, the tools...knives, scissors, scalpels even the nurses were building up a staccato melody. She smiled, trusted her ears to find a melody even in this situation...and then she was unconscious.

She opened her eyes to find her mother sleeping on the couch beside her bed, everything was very silent. It was unnerving to her to "hear" such silence which she never felt. Perhaps she was so interested in gathering new sounds to care for silence and now this hospital room has commenced the silence. She reached for a glass of water kept on the table, beside the bed, her grip slackened and she dropped the glass shattering the silence. The loud crass noise hurt her ears, it was not pleasant, it woke her mother who came at once beside her and said, "Do not use your voice yet dear, you need to rest...and sweetheart the operation was a success. You can now use your voice in a few weeks," her mother told her happily that her wish had been fulfilled. Saya smiled feebly at her mother's happy face but she felt a sense of loss which she could not comprehend, maybe tomorrow would be better. But the next day too was the same. She could hear the sounds but it did not sound the same, it was like her eardrums had gone fuzzy. She longed to go home, to use her piano, now that she has her voice, it would be a great to use it against the voice of her piano and also maybe she would again discern new sounds and thread it to a tune. She consoled herself that the next day would be better but each day was same, until the day she was discharged. She felt happy and anxious it would be after so long she would play her piano and create new sounds which was completely absent in the four walls of her hospital room. Her mother thanked the doctor and they headed home. On the way she could hear the sounds of the cars, bicycles, people shouting, but it was all noise to her... to her it was not piece of music. It troubled her, she longed to hear the music in those sounds which she earlier could and now she could not.

At last she reached the place she longed for, she rushed through the front door to the sitting room, and she stopped abruptly.... an empty space greeted her, the markings were still there as if it was recently moved. She could not believe it was gone, tears flowed heavily... she felt numb. Her mother silently walked up to her "I am sorry Saya, I had to sell the piano, it was the only means through which I could get more money for your treatment"

At last she understood why she felt empty, depressed , her real voice was gone, so has her extraordinary ability to perceive new sounds, it had all left her at the cost of that 'unfamiliar' voice she would have all her life...she let out a wail and that was the first sound she had let out.